Commissioner of Cowboy Action


Cree Vicar Dave - SASS Life #49907

One day a while back I was watching a golf tournament on TV. Golf is a sport that closely simulates Cowboy Action Shooting™. Both are played out in the elements, against others in differing categories, along a laid out course, playing in progressive groups, with irons and leathers of comparable price and they are both played in an organized, civil and methodical way. It says in Psalm 37:8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil."

You seldom see a shouting match or a fist fight break out at a golf event. The worst thing that usually happens is for someone to make a little noise while a competitor is addressing the ball. Then the offender might incur the rebuff of a firm stare. That’s why it was a great surprise to me, as I watched that day, that one of the competing golfers would have the audacity to do something on the field so unsportsmanlike. This incident was so vile, gross and unbecoming a civilized golfer that I never even saw a replay. It was so over the top that the sports announcer stated that the Commissioner of Golf would probably be called upon to assess a hefty fine. (Up to that point I had never heard of a Commissioner of Golf.) I’m so embarrassed for this renegade golfer I’ll not even mention his name.

What was the dastardly deed performed by this out of control competitor, you may ask? Well I’ll tell ya plain out, he spit on the green. Not just anywhere on the green mind you. But he spit in that little hole on the green where that little white ball goes at the end of their stage. Seems it took him a little longer than usual to finish the last string causing him to fire a few more shots then needed to get the last one to go down. I’ve been there before as have some of you all. But never have I witnessed anyone walking over and spitting on a target. I’ve heard tell of people being mad enough to spit but never have I encountered anyone so bold to see it all the way through. I’m tellen ya straight up partners that I hope I never see anyone in our sport so enraged that they would attempt to do something so brazen.

Then I got to thinken. What if someone actually attempts to disgrace our sport in just such a way? Well that’s when it hit me. We need a "Commissioner of Cowboy Action." Someone above reproach. Someone who would be available to make the call at a moment’s notice. Someone who would constantly ride the range looking for anyone committing such an infraction and prescribing the proper fines. Someone who world be at all the major shoots to watch and consider every shooter carefully in every detail. Someone to empty and clean the spittoons when needed. This would help keep our sport from sinking to the level of golf.

In closing I don’t think that it is necessary to burden us with more regulations. We all know the proper behavior for cowboys and cowgirls at our events. After all we learned at an early age the basic rule to follow here: "NEVER SPIT INTO THE WIND."

God Bless,

Cree Vicar Dave